just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I understand Curling. That high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
