Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
