Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have aggressive nipples.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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