the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
