to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
