...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
there's paper in my vomit.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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