OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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