I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
