so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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