He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
