Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
