apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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