Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
