I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
