Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
