yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
