Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
