hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize