saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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