I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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