A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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