i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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