his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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