some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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