I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
