it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
