do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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