You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
