There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How external is "for external use only"?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
