That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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