Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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