I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
