You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
