Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
