I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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