Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
