She said her name was "party"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
