Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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