That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
