Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
