Are we in a gay sports bar?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
