best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
True strength comes from lack of pants
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
