I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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