I cannot find my penis.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
