i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
