The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
