I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
