just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
