I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
