Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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